1. Why does it rain on the days I attempt to look put together...meaning shower, dry my hair, and maybe do something to my face more than pinch my cheeks for a little color? And why is it that I see the most people on the mornings when I've made no effort on myself?
2. Why must the tree guys use their loudest piece of equipment at nap time?
3. Why does it never fail, that if I'm wearing what I think is a cute-ish shirt, I'll spill coffee on it? My growing belly highlights this error ten fold.
4. Please tell me that you too have had to pull the car over on a busy road and retrieve your children's shoes from the middle of the street because you left them on the roof of the vehicle. We were only headed to the playground....they might be a little important to have with us.
5. Why is it next to impossible to get out the door by 9am without wanting to blow a gasket? We've all been up for two to three hours (if not longer) at that point.
6. Is it normal to leave the grocery store with Haagen Dazs, brownie mix, and egg rolls? What about eating a Greek salad, a piece of red skinned potato pizza with spicy ranch dressing, and a curried chicken Thai pizza slice all in one sitting? How about leaving the table without even signing the bill?
7. Is it awful that I switched the time on the boys' clock one morning before the time switch so that they'd sleep just one more hour? And it worked:) They know they can't get out of bed until 6am, so when I caught it just in time at 5:59 they indeed went back to sleep! It's grand when things work in a mama's favor. This was before the time switch and so far they've been good about staying in bed till 7:00. Or at least they play nicely until then and their conversations are hysterical. Another sweet sound to waken to...that is, until the fighting begins and the coffee hasn't even been made yet.
8. Oh, not everyone makes brownies at 10pm just to lick the bowl? Hmmm.
9. Pregnant + in a bar = hilarious looks. I'm drinking WATER, people!
10. I'm telling, not asking, that it's perfectly acceptable to
11. How is it possible that I managed to go stretch mark free for 32 weeks while pregnant with twins, but while pregnant with one baby they surfaced at just 18 weeks? I'm hopeful it's just related to the terribly itchy, look-like-a-scratching-crazy-person rash that's unleashed itself on my mid-section.
12. Why can't I remember squat anymore? Like the one item I actually went to the store for? Or actually bringing my wallet to the store in the first place?
13. Why does spin class have to be filled to capacity 10 minutes before the start time (3 times in a row!) when we actually managed to get out the door on time (and maybe a little early)? I closely resemble sausage in spandex anyway, so I'm thankful for the darkened bike and media cardio rooms. And running outside? Oh forget it....it feels like a 5 gallon jug is on my bladder when I don't actually have to pee at all.
14. Why can't I keep my eyes open past 9pm, but am wide awake by 5am? But those sweet baby kicks are a good reason to be awake:)
15. Hmmmm, pizza for 3 of the last 4 meals. One of them ending with shared icrecream, another with giant chocolate chip cookies. Ok, we'll get back on the healthy train tomorrow.