Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Just BE

Some days I worry that I'm not DOING enough.  Enough playtime with my boys.  Enough chores around the house.  Enough dates on the calendar and phone calls with friends.  Enough catch up time with my husband.  Enough workout time to keep this changing 30+ year old body in check.  Enough tutoring hours to have a little extra cash.  Enough to pull my weight around this house.  Enough appreciation to just soak up where I am right now in this phase of life.

I am my own worst critic.

I'm trying to be more present.  More in the moment.  To enjoy more and want less, fret less.  It's pretty safe to say that when I master one aspect of the balancing act, something else falls.  And the juggling act continues.  One more ball in the air one week, one more ball on the ground the next. 

Instead of always feeling inadequate (this is why I do NOT get on Pinterest), I'm going to work on how to JUST BE.  And thank goodness for my snapshot resources (phone, camera, iPad) to keep me grounded, remind me to be present, and feel ok to not accomplish monumental tasks every day, but relish in the little ones that do get done.  Like playing and reading and walking and watching and singing.  And sometimes maybe a little cleaning and errand running and cooking and napping and laundry folding.  Even after the hardest days I find myself looking at the boys' pictures (old and new) with a grin.  They can drive me mad and renew my spirit all at the same time.  Stinkers.

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P.S. Thank goodness this was actually written last week because otherwise today's post would have been a lot of whining about yesterday's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.  It was ugly. A day that had me considering a full time job requiring lots of travel.  A day that had me realizing that this is what people mean when they refer to the 'terrible 2s.'  But today we're better, so there's no use in wallowing.



3 comments:

  1. WOW...what I'm thinking is that you deserve a Mommy of the Year award for having a cement mixer IN YOUR FRONT LAWN!!!!!!

    Impressive Krissy.

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  2. You are a Rockstar Mom and never forget that!

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  3. Krissy, I will not say anything about the terrible 2's being a myth for boys. I will just warn you that maybe from the day they turn 3 oh, until about the day they turn 4, you will possibly not like them very much. Another ball goes up and one falls down...bingo, sister. The one that falls here is that pesky housework ball. I'd love to have friends over more often...our adult friends with their kids on a whim...but our house is disgusting. Clothes, toys, halloween costumes, toys, artwork everywhere. Really, what we should do is invite them anyway. Because they love us for the times we have together, despite the mess in my family room. I just won't be able to offer them any place to sit.

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