Wednesday, July 18, 2012

If you were a fly on the wall you might have witnessed this...

Last Tuesday was one for the Mom Fail books and if you were a fly on the wall you might have witnessed this...

I've mentioned before that Garrett has mastered the art of whining.  Gavin chimes in on occasion too.  Crying for Daddy from the second he leaves for work until the minute he returns home.  And then he whines for Mommy.  Whatever.  Either way it's enough to drive someone batty.  Sometimes the fits happen for no reason at all (Unless the fact that the interior light in my car goes off when the doors are shut is considered a reason...seriously.)  So the other day went like this...

After spending a fun morning at the pool with our friends, we looked like a three ring circus trying to get kiddos changed, bags packed, and everyone to the car.  My friend and her son headed home while I let the boys play on the playground for a few minutes.  After a 20 minute ordeal just get to the car, I then jammed out and sang every song possible while tickling Gavin and keeping the windows down so he'd stay awake on our ride home all while feeding both boys lunch.  Safe driving, huh?  Once we were home the boys went down for naps only after bouncing, squealing, and talking in their cribs for a good 45 minutes.  At 2:59pm on the nose the whining commenced again I hear that they're up.  After calming Garrett down and explaining for the 1,000,000th time that day that "Daddy will be home tonight.  Daddy's at work right now." I ask him, "Do you have fun with Mommy?  We are going to go downstairs and play and make milkshakes."  I get a big fat "NO."  Bottom lip stuck out, thumb in mouth, brows furrowed.  Well that makes a mama feel great, said no one ever.  Fast forward a couple hours, Daddy is home, and we're chatting in the front yard about our days.  Garrett goes to the front door and cries/whines/demands says, "Daddy, in!  Daddy, in!  Daddy, in!"  When I go to the door to let him in he loses it.  Or maybe I lose it worse.  In a matter of seconds a few choice words fly out of my mouth, I admit that "I've had it!," and storm upstairs to change clothes before heading off to tutor.  Did I mention that all this transpired as a sweet looking young woman (probably unmarried and childless, thus totally thinking I'm psycho) was walking by with her dog.  Fabulous, right?

And then I learn from a friend that she just found her two sons playing in the toilet.  The toilet that her daughter forgot to flush.  Thanks for hand sanitizer, right?  Ok, maybe that warrants a bath.

And then I receive a text from another friend explaining that she MUST cut herself off at just 2 glasses of wine tonight.  These nightly cocktails are getting out of hand.  Says who?  It's five o'clock somewhere, right?

And then I hear a story about an acquaintance who was once on a tirade toward her older son, and as every four letter word was flying out of her mouth, the sweet young boy next door was delivering an Advent calendar to her younger son.  Upon hearing the madness taking place in the house, he went home in tears.  Happy holidays, right? 

I guess if you were a fly on the wall you'd think we were all crazy.  But after a good counseling session phone call with a friend, a quiet dinner, a surprise cocktail in the fridge, and a good night sleep, I've decided that we're all just normal.

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